My Wedding on a Budget: 69 Days to Go!

Our First Wedding Gift!

From Donald Coffman (a friend at our church)

My Wedding on a Budget: So Far!

With 70 days to go...here is what we have so far. The items marked with a "$" are our big money savers. The more"$" there are, the higher the savings value was.

• Date: October 8, 2011
• Guest List: Complete with addresses
• $ Save the Date: I made a picture montage video that told "the story of us". We emailed and used Facebook to send it out. No cost at all!
  
• Colors: Lots of shades of purple and green!
• $$ Flowers: No florist. We'll order fresh cut flowers and make simple bouquets. We'll plant mums at the reception site. We'll probably have the few corsages we need made.
  
• $$ Photography: No professional hired. My cousin Jersuha will be a part of my day taking pictures with her sister Alyx helping as well. We've been over several lists of "must have photos" we found online and developed our own list.
  
• Church: Sacred Heart, my family's small Catholic church in my hometown.
• Priest: That of the church. We've met with him twice.
• Engaged Encounter: A Catholic church requirement before the sacrament of marriage. We did this back at the beginning June with our two good friends getting married in August, Sara and Adam.
• Readings: We haven't chosen the readings but our Godfathers will be doing them.
• Bridesmaids: Too many too choose from but I finally got it! Rachel, my sister, is the Matron of Honor; Holly Jo, my cousin, is my Maid of Honor; the four bridesmaids are: Dani, my college roommate and fellow communication major; Becky, also a roommate but also a track teammate; Kelli, a high school friend; Valerie, my "random" friend I met during a high school summer program, Governor's Scholars.
• Groomsmen: Michael/"Gohmann" is the Best Man. The groomsmen are: Nic, my older brother; Seth, my younger brother; Adam/"Gress", Jon's friend from Louisville, Aaron, a soccer and high school friend; Daniel, a high school and scouting friend.
• Ushers & Attendants: Our ushers are two good friends, Chad and Ben, along with my cousin and Jon's fried, Josh. My cousin, Caitlan, and sister-in-law, Michelle, are keeping the Guest Book and handing out programs.
• Little people: Our Godchildren will be our flowergirl and ring bearer.
  
• $ Church decorations: Caitlan is making some decorations for the pews. I have bought some flowers for the alter vases they already have.
• $ Gown: I found a dress on sale. White and beautiful. Still not "cheap" with alterations but well under $1,000 and that included the bra, slip and alterations which, in the end, nearly doubled the price of the dress.
• $ Veil: My aunt is making it. It's pretty simple but even the simple ones will run you a $100 at times.
  
• Bridesmaid Dresses: I tried to get them to each just choose any purple dress in order to save them money and shop on their budget. None of them did this except my sister who looked at the David's Bridal options so we went with those for everyone. I still kept them in 3 different shades of purple and let them choose their style. They had the same chiffon material, though.
• Groom's attire: Jon had the freedom to choose what he wanted for attire. He did choose tuxes, though. (And I was glad of that). Since my gown was from David's Bridal the tuxes were discounted for all of the guys.
• $ Reception Site: On our family property. This spared us having to book a site and pay them or choose their catering services; however it comes with it's own expenses. We'll need outdoor restroom facilities brought in. Tent rental and a dance floor are also additional expenses. Parking will have to nailed down, but I've asked my cousins to direct this.
  
• $$ DJ: We've asked our friend Ben to run the show. He sent us a list of the rental equipment we'll need.
• $Catering: Due to a fairly large guest list this will be more costly than we'd like, but to keep it simple we're doing a cookout style. We're having burgers and hotdogs with sides of bake beans and pasta salads. We'll have some snack trays.
  
• $ Alcohol: Serving our own so we do not have to hire a bartender which saves. We're doing bottles and cans so we can either return unused stuff or give it out as gifts to those who have helped. We'll also have wine and possibly a limited amount of one signature drink that is TBD.
• $ Cake: My friend is making a small cake for us to cut. My sister-in-law and cousin are making cupcakes for the bulk of our "dessert". It continues with our cookout/picnic theme.
• $ Tables & Chairs: We expect a lot of people to be mingling and running around so we don't want to pay for unused chairs and tables. We've gotten a lot but additionally we'll have hay bales covered in burlap for seating. We'll also have outdoor games like cornhole and yard golf set up to give people stuff to do.
• $ Invitations: We got "print yourself" kits that have the card, envelope, RSVP card and envelope. We're giving people the option to RSVP online so we don't have to include a stamp for RSVP cards. I bought extra cardstock paper to print additional information like hotel accommodations and directions.
• $$ Videography: If it fits in our budget I'm going to buy a video camera (nothing fancy) to be set up for the ceremony and then passed around at the reception. I did this at crazy college parties all of the time with my old camera and it always survived and ended up with great footage. I'd like the same for the wedding. Then the money spent is a long term investment.
  
• $ Wedding Music: We didn't hire any outside musicians. We'll either use the church organist or my aunt.
• Registry: We felt awkward doing this. It's not about people throwing us parties and buying us gifts. We did it, though, because we knew people would appreciate having something to go buy when shopping. We registered at Target and Sears (not recommended, by the way! The Sears we registered at was a pain, then half the stuff we registered for didn't even show up online!) and I did our china and a few other things online.
• Transportation: This is one spot I spent more money than our budget would seem to fit, but I'd planned for that. I wanted the wedding party to be able to go from the ceremony to the reception together and the only thing to do that (with a bridal party this size) was a stretch hummer. The majority of the time I'll be paying for it will simply it's drive to and from Lexington (an hour and a half but the closest service we could find). We are not using special transportation to the church or from the reception.
• Day of Time Line: We've started one with the major events lined out.
• $ Rehearsal Dinner: We'll do it in the church basement (no cost) and we're having one of Jon's all-time-favorite meat & produce shops in Louisville do the food. They won't actually cater. We'll pick up the food and serve ourselves. It's a pretty laid back approach, but with a big wedding party there are a lot of mouths to feed so we want to keep the cost low.
• Hair & Make Up: I had a test run on my hair this week. I wasn't thrilled with it. I went in not knowing what I wanted but a general idea. The back was pretty (I want an updo) but the way she pulled it back was pretty simple. The biggest turnoff for me was that she didn't even have any modern books or magazines to look through with ideas. The place was small and she's the only hairdresser so with a possibility of 8 or 10 girls getting hair done I'm opting out. Holly has booked us with a new salon that her old guy just opened. I'm still figuring out make up. We'll do our nails the day before.
• Favors: We were originally going to go with burnt CDs. I love that idea. But it is a lot of work and it will be an expense to buy cds, cases and to label them. I think we are instead going with can koozies. This will help people keep drinks cold that night since we'll have cans and bottles. We're going to print them to have space for people to write their names on them to help keep track of their drinks. My parents run a screenprinting business so getting these at a cheap price shouldn't be too hard.
• Bridal Party Gifts: Jon is going with beer mugs for his guys. He wanted to do renaissance style, leather mugs but they are quite costly for a wedding party this size so he's going with mason jar style beer mugs. For the girls, I'm doing a grab bag of items: $2 flip flops from Old Navy (for the outdoor reception), a personalized bag to carry stuff in (using my parents' business again), a white flower hair clip and jewelry that is TBD.
  
• $ Rings: Done and paid for. More money than we'd like to spend at one time, but still VERY cheap comparatively. Neither of us got stones in our bands, so this saved a lot of money.
• Flip Flops: We bought flip flops at Hobby Lobby on sale for only $1 to leave out at the reception for people to change into, particularly women in heels, since it is outdoors.
  

The Verdict: Was 2010 "DIfferent"?

I know this blog only happens on the few and far between days, but I do like that I now have a running track record of New Year's resolutions and outlooks as well as reflection on the past year. I know my reader subscription isn't high, but knowing that I put those goals and thoughts in writing in a public place does give some extra pressure to be at least a little accountable.

I find it very, very strange that I wrote what I did last January when looking ahead to 2010. I sensed the changes of that year without really know what any of it would be and sure enough, 2010 was a very different year. I won't deny that a large credit of that goes to my going from 24 1/2 years as a single lady, to, without hesitation or doubt, being in a serious relationship; however at the time of that post I had no idea it was coming--even if it was only a little over a week from beginning.

What made 2010 so different?

• I went from still being a 25-30 hour a week employee to a 50-60 hour a week employee that is usually still working into the evenings and to some extent on weekends.
• I went from Single Sally to Relationship Rita.
• I went from living directly across the street from half of the man clan and with my 2 college roommates to living on the far end of the city with my cousin and lifelong best friend.
• I went from going out to a bar, hanging out late with friends on the town, or drinking with friends at least one night of the weekend to rarely seeing the inside of a bar and 1 a.m. on a weekend being late.
• I went from spending all my time in town minus the occasional trip home or to Lex to spending probably 70% of my weekends outside of Louisville
• I went from having my younger brother and one cousin in this city as my only relatives to having 4 cousins living here, 1 living with me, both brothers here and my sister-in-law.

Other changes really sprang from those listed above. I see my Louisville friends much, much less--not because I don't love them all. Living with Holly on the far side of Louisville, as well as spending the majority of my weekdays being exhausted by work, then spending the weekend with Jon who no longer lives here, keeps me away from "free time". I've also spent more time at home in The Valley, much because Jon thoroughly enjoys spending time there as well, but also because I know my sites are set on being there in due time and while I may not be living there now, I can spend time doing the things that will one day be a part of my daily life. We cleaned out the main barn to make it more usable. We helped family split lots of winter wood. We also began planning for putting in a second garden.

I've started eating better. While my running and working out has fallen to the wayside (so little time when you're driving and working so much!) I've started buying more whole, natural and fresh foods and actually cooking. (It helps when you have a boyfriend with allergies who is safer cooking his own food than trusting someone else.) Holly and I don't even have a microwave in the apartment so that keeps us away from frozen foods. Additionally Mom has introduced the family to Juice Plus which has become a part of my daily source of nutrients.

I just had a phone call tonight with a friend I hadn't talked much with in the past couple of months. After catching up a bit, we realized that our lack of hanging out was much to do with our lack of "going out". We agreed that not going out and not drinking was much more of the "easy" option these days. We agreed we must be growing up.

Growing up does not have to be a bad thing. If we never grow and change we stay in the same place forever and too much of any one thing and you'll get bored of it. Thanks to "growing up" I have done a lot of things in 2010 that I wouldn't have gotten to do previously. I accomplished my 3 year goal and did visit Gui and Carla in Brazil. Instead of the typical bar scenes of the past, friends came together to do things like camping trips, lake trips and road trips. I've gotten to see many of my nearest and dearest friends get married this past year and one of my very best friends is pregnant--all joys I would not experience without growing up.

A Slight Slip Up--Successful Recovery

We had our first bit of a disaster today. But honestly, I wouldn't call it a disaster. If anything it was a panic more for Gui and Carla than the three Americans. Luckily, nothing disastrous happened.

Gui was back to work today but hooked us up with a great tour opportunity. His friend, Thiago, has a tour company that gives cultural walking tours of the city. It was ten times more interesting and educational than the large city tour in Rio. Typically his group averages about five people, we were "large" because we had seven. Melody, Micah and I were joined by a famliy who once lived in Sao Paulo but primarily was from Switzerland. They now live all over--but the mother father and two sons were together for the older son's 30th birthday. They were extremely friendly and wanted to learn as much about us as they did about the city.

Thiago, it turns out, is one of Gui's life long friends and did the same exchange program that brought Gui to Casey County. In fact, by complete chance, Thiago was also placed in Kentucky--Taylor County High School to be exact. His tour was excellent and nothing you would normally get our of your standard tour. I definitely preferred the walking and he simply took us to places that you would normally walk right past in the city without thinking twice, but Thiago was able to give us facts and history on all sorts of places, eateries, works of graffiti (which COVER the city), theaters, cathedrals, shopping centers, and simple little things that gave further explanation to the way of life in Sao Paulo.

From the tour, the three of us were to catch a bus to Santos, the city where Carla lives. She would meet us at the station (which would take about an hour and 15 minutes to get to) and Gui would drive to Santos once done with work. Thiago was kind enough to take us all the way to boarding the bus so he could assure Gui we had gotten on the right bus. I slept a little bit on the drive but also enjoyed the amazing scenery. We went way up in the mountains and were looking down upon gorgeous green valleys, thick with forest and jungle. It was quite a down-down-down spiral coming into Santos, but the city was much smaller than Sao Paulo. It made it feel homey after being in such a huge city.

So we got to the station and I stood to get off, but most people were still sitting. Melody asked if we were supposed to get off. I had no idea. We looked out the bus windows to see if we could spot Carla waiting for us but there was no sign of her. I guess it was obvious we were slightly confused so some people offered some help. I must have missed the first man who talked to Micah and Melody (they were seated a little further up than me) who spoke English and told them this was not the last stop in Santos. Gui hadn't said at which stop to get off. Then the man next to me began his attempts to help, bless him, but he knew no English. In the end multiple people told us that this was not the last stop and there was another station in Santos close to the beach. There was little time to make a decision so stayed put. As soon as we were pulling away I began to guess we'd made a mistake. The station had a large sign on the other side and its name was Santos. Then I saw a clock and it had been exactly and hour and 15 minutes since we'd left Sao Paulo. When we had to sit through the first stop on our way to Sao Paulo from Rio Gui had been very clear that we were not to get off on the first stop. He had not done that this time. The bus continued through the city letting people off at random places. Soon enough we were the only ones on the bus, looking at each other saying, "ummm...oops?"

It turns out the second station that everyone had mentioned to us was not a real station. It was simply the bus company's station that was rather small. However, it did stop (END) here so at least we didn't find our selves heading back to Sao Paulo. We were on the beach when we got off the empty bus (knowing the driver was looking at us and thinking, "stupid gringos!") but none of us were panicking. We could tell the city wasn't that huge. I even said to them that I mainly felt bad because it had been nearly an hour since we were supposed to arrive so Carla and Gui were probably freaking out wondering where we had ended up. We found a phone booth and began dialing all of the toll free numbers the two of them had given us since we arrived. It took several attempts but finally I heard on the other end, "Rita? Are you there?" It was Carla. I'm not sure who was more relieved.

Carla knew where the other "station" was and said she'd be there shortly to get us. Gui lectured us later for getting lost and said to me, "Think... Just lat night I was talking to Mr. and Mrs. Dixon telling them how safe there daughter was and that I would take care of her. What was I going to tell them when I lost you?"

We ate out at a great Japanese Rodizio restaurant and enjoyed lots of sushi, Tumaki, caipirinhas and more more more (including coffee for me--I can't get enough of it here!). Carla's house was wonderful and her Mom had a room all set up for us. She even had chocolate gifts for us all. We have been so blessed with the wonderful people who have been hosting us on our trip and blessed that, so far, missing our bus stop has been the biggest disaster we have faced.

All The World's A Classroom

Sorry, Shakespeare but you had it wrong. Maybe the world is a stage but it is most definitely primarily a classroom.

Lucky for us, Gui was off work today and after letting us sleep in (and waking us up by singing the American National Anthem to us) he gave us a day out and about in Sao Paulo. Honestly, we were mainly driving but I don't think any of us minded. There was a lot to take in and endless questions to be asked.

We first went to the Soccer Museum which is housed at the home stadium of the Corinthians (pronounced "corin-chins" soccer club). The majority of the museum was in Portuguese but lucky for us we had our personal translator. For a girl who has never known much about soccer, it's quite amazing how much I have been surrounded by it in these past few days--terms, players, teams, historical moments.

Interesting, though, that Gui himself is not the typical hardcore soccer addict in Brazil. Basketball is more his passion (not that any Brazilian doesn't know his soccer), but melody and I picked up on a level of resentment towards soccer from Gui. Not because he does not enjoy it but because the weight that is put on a game in this culture. Everywhere we went today (and the entire time we have been here) we saw flags, signs, people in yellow, green and blue jerseys and shirts, food deals, paraphernalia in store windows. Melody commented on the national pride here and how cool it is but Gui corrected her quickly, saying you see none of this when it is not World Cup season. People live and breathe soccer but sometimes put it before the real necessities or what should be the priorities in life, he said. He told us he felt American's national pride is much stronger because it exists outside of the sports world and something I had never thought of, but he pointed out that he said part of that is probably because of the wars we have fought in. When noting the "pride" we were seeing everywhere we also asked of any major wars that had taken place in Brazil. We noted it is a good thing but Gui said he slightly disagreed. With having no history of fighting for what is theirs or to gain better rights or freedom, there is no appreciation for what they have; at least not like in America. It's something I never thought of--war as a strength in our history simply for what it does for the unity of the people and the appreciation of what is ours.

The day was full of these thought-provoking conversations as talk revolved around differences in languages and foods and traditions and cultures. The questions and observations back and forth never stopped. We got a close look at the favelas for the first time--the very poor areas of town where people nearly live on top of each other. We also got to see downtown Sao Paulo and many of the older buildings and museums.

Carla got to Gui's house in time for dinner and his parents cooked an awesome homemade traditional Brazilian meal and wow was it delicious. Amazing what all we have eaten here and this one--perhaps the best one yet--was free to us!

Five days in this country and there is no doubt in my mind I have learned more than I ever could have in a whole semester of class on Brazilian culture. It's amazing the amount of knowledge this world holds for us that we can so easily tap into if we simply use the resources we have at our fingertips--and for the most part, those "resources" I am referring to are our friends.