Dani and I watched the movie, Lars and the Real Girl last week. It was a random choice by her through her Blockbuster flicks deal or whatever. I'd never heard of it and was a little suspicious of it being that it was about a guy (Ryan Goesling) who's convinced his blowup doll is a real person that he is dating. It turned out to be extremely entertaining and not creepy at all. I got a lot of laughs out of the guy's sincere belief that Bianka, the doll, was a real person who spoke to him. He was legitimately in love and the reactions of family and friends were equally entertaining as they went from being weirded out, to playing along, to completely embracing Bianka in the same real way Lars did.
I only write of it now in order to share a quote from it with you. For the most part it was just a funny movie for me, but there was one scene when Lars is talking ot his older brother, Gus (whom he's had a strained relationship with) and Lars asks Gus when he knew he was a man...what event brought about manhood versus not being grown up. Gus's response really stood out to me as so true:
"Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay? There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts."
The fact that his response acknowledges that we never really let go of being a kid or even want to but that we reach a point of understanding responsibility and right versus wrong...and that we can put those we love before ourselves. Whoever wrote that line, in my opinion, nailed it.
I haven't completely nailed down how or why, but 2010 feels different.
Throughout most of 2009 I was feeling a little lost. I was no longer a "recent graduate" and I still didn't feel like an adult. I still felt very much like a college kid, but there was something about that feeling that didn't seem right.
Don't get me wrong...2009 was a great year. Look at my last post and you'll have to agree.
But 2010 is going to be different and I feel it.
I love life in Louisville and I love my friends but I know this is not the life I want forever. I also know life goes quickly and it doesn't wait around for you. It will sort of just happen if you don't make it happen. (There is a difference in those two. Hopefully you can understand it.)
There are certain goals/dreams I've always had for my life and they have become clearer to me in the past year; probably because of the reality that I am now capable of progressing towards them. However, I'll only actually get there IF I start working towards them and not just living day to day expecting them to suddenly happen.
Probably the hardest part of working towards any goal is accepting and working through the things that are out of your control, because there will always be some of these things. Those who know me know that I hate the idea of fear taking control of a situation. Unfortunately, I admit that part of my hesitance to move forward is the fear of letting go of things I want in the NOW but are really out of my control as to whether or not I have them.
We've all created plans before. Plans for a school or work project. Plans for a social event. Plans for a vacation. These plans are created on the premise of an order of actions/events on a time-line, but I think it's safe to say that we've all experienced things not going to plan and, more often than not, the plan's time-line gets jumbled and things occur out of order. In the end, things always pans out, as long as our focus stayed clear and with every fork in the road we simply made the best decision for the given situation. With this we get the right and best end result. Sometimes that end looks like that original goal the plan set out of us to achieve, but sometimes it's different. The things we learn along the way may change what the perfect end goal actually is.
In the beginning of the movie A Lot Like Love, Oliver (the Ashtin Kutcher character), a fairly recent college graduate, explains that he has a plan to get his "ducks in a row". His seven year time-line was that he would graduate, work, meet a girl in the process, become successful, get married and live happily ever after. Then he finds himself seven years down the road and lots has happened--both good and bad--but the plan has fallen to pieces. Still, the movie ends happily.
I've never had a set in stone, hard plan, but I've had a vision of how things would come to pass in my life. Needless to say, even this "loose" plan seems to not want to completely fall together as I envisioned. So the fear comes in accepting that certain pieces are not for me to decide and simply going with what God does have planned for me in the hear and now. Then, I must continue to work towards that dream by focusing on the areas I do have control over. Fear will continue to be there but I cannot let it dictate and hold me back from the things I am capable of doing. Honestly, the one plan I put the most faith and trust in is the one I don't have any control over. That's what faith is about, right?
So what does 2010 mean for Peat? It's time to step forward and accept the responsibility of my life and all I've ever dreamed for it to be and start making it happen and not letting the fear of the unknown or the fear of letting go of my "plan" slow me down.
Mom is right: from my early days of basketball, 10 always has been my number. I think this is my year.
Let's take a look at the post I left last January as I looked ahead to 2009 and planned to keep it interesting and see how I did...
(1) A new meal once a month: 
Okay, I admit that Dani wins the prize in this one. I'm not sure that either of us actually did it once a month--and I will blame June on Dani's Mom because she came to visit and why did we need to mess with food when she was feeding us home-cooked meals with tons of tasty leftovers? However, what cooking I did do was successful and Dani's most definitely was covering everything from eggplant Parmesan, french onion soup, steak sandwiches, Asian Chicken pasta, and on and on. Oh and let's give me a little credit for making Christmas cookies from scratch for the first time on my own!
(2) Service Projects: 
No, we weren't as frequent with these as I would have liked, but beyond the MLK Day project I also took part in Bellarmine's Young Alum service project and did "Project Warm" with KK where we insulated houses for the winter. I suppose the Casey County Trot for Tots counts a little being for Toys for Tots and all. And there is always the Salvation Army bell ringing with the family back in Liberty. PLUS, let's not leave out that I'm helping Emma Gailey with the rebirth of a Girls On The Run chapter in Louisville.
(3)Extracurriculars: 
There are still so many things on this list I'd like to get to while still living in Louisville and all. One thing that isn't so much a Louisville thing, but something I've always loved that many of my Louisville friends have seldom if ever done is a Drive-In movie. SO much fun. But let's look at what we did do: Ice skating, Pool Heaven, Bowling, Karaoke at Akikos, Hosted a Cook Out, my first Derby experience, I played on a kickball team and met lots of fun new people, the St. James Art Fair, Ratatat concert, NKY trip to Steve's, Arcade nights at Gameworks, football games, Lex trips, road trip to Auburn with Jaso, Cheesecakes with Mucci, another exciting Memorial Weekend, shirt-making for St. 
Patty's Day and Boss Appreciation Day, the mini Lake vacay with the fam, Churchill Day when Chad won big bucks... I should note the discovery of Gofobo and the many free movies we saw thanks to it (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, The Proposal, Terminator Salvation, Where The Wild Things Are, Invictus, etc.) And very important to note the big events we put on: the first Drunk Funk Games, Gui's party where we had friends from all over come to town and the big Secret Santa gift exchange/practicing Christmas morning party. Oh, and can we include adding a puppy to the house hold to this list??
(4) Work World Progress: Well, I've gone from being jobless at this time last year to having a part-time position with Todd to do work for, GLI, the chamber of commerce, to having spent four hours on a Sunday, today, with him to discuss our latest project with Member Minded. Meanwhile, I've gotten to keep doing video work through the development of The College Buzz and I've even got Knob End Enterprises under my name as a registered business.
Other goals I failed to mention in last year's post included physical activity. I did get a gym membership with the Louisville Athletic Club in April. I have been lifting there since (but still ne
ed to become more regular about it) and for awhile I was hitting up their yoga classes. I also ran a 7 1/2 mile leg of the Derby marathon with Emma and some of her friends as well as I ran in the Trot for Tots like normal. I guess kickball can maybe go on this list also. I also wanted to start prepping and saving for the Brazil trip of 2010 that I promised Gui when I returned from Europe in 2007. Thanks to College Buzz money I've saved a decent amount and 
Micah is on board to go with me. Honestly, he's done more planning than me. I've got a lot of work to get to at this point on nailing down details but we're looking to leave around June 4 and I'll stay for close to ten days.
The only other thing Dani and I wrote in our book was titled "Boys". Ironic enough, there are no real details or goals listed here...and sadly enough, I can't say I'm any better off in that department than I ever was or ever have been. Ha.
Whoever says New Year's resolutions aren't worth anything doesn't know what they are talking about. Maybe we are eager and motivated through January and that excitement dies off and seems completely forgotten by summer and the following months, but I think if we map them out and begin putting some practice into our lives in those early months, the resolution can be forgotten, but only because we no longer think of these things as a "resolution" but just a part of our daily lives.
Time to get the book back out. Stay tuned.
It was about four months ago when Todd (my boss) mentioned to me that his company would be celebrating it’s ten year anniversary this year. I remember quickly running the math in my head and noting that would have made him about 24 when he started his company. Wow, that means he was shortly out of school. It also immediately hit me that it really was no surprise. After having worked with Todd for about six months I knew what a passion he had for business and a genuine love for running with challenges. Setting up his own company right out of college seemed only natural for a guy of his character.
Me, on the other hand… I did not expect to find myself setting up my own company at age 24.
I’ll keep the story short, as it’s not what I really came here to write. As many know, since last winter I have been producing a web video show for Bellarmine University, The College Buzz. After producing four shows for Bellarmine last Spring they budgeted for the upcoming school year and got funding for two shows a month. When I told Rob the good news he suggested that I set up my own company so I could skip the extra step of running financials through his company.
I told my parents and also told them I’d probably have to choose a new name and leave my childhood business name, “RitArt” behind. Pretty crazy, though, how the things you imagine as a kid can become a reality. There is a cardboard sign I still have hanging on the wall of my bedroom at my parent's house with my original “RitArt” logo that I made when I was probably about 10 years old.
The most difficult step for setting up this new company (for me) was choosing a name. Now, Rob had told me “this isn’t that big of a deal”, but he doesn’t know my family and that I name inanimate objects down to my cameras and cell phones. I inquired some ideas from my brothers and both had some clever suggestions and I almost settled on one of my own until Pa threw out one with “Knob End” included.
For those unaware, Knob End Meadow is the field located on the deepest point of the Valley. For a number of years I have had thoughts of one day having my own home on this territory.
Amid my pondering for a name I thought about the series of events that had led to the need for one at all. Then I thought about the series of events to follow. I have never known exactly what I wanted to do with my life as far as a career is concerned. The only thing I have always been certain of about my future is that I want to raise a family in The Valley. To live the simple and good life. Since graduating from Bellarmine, as great as life is, there are times when I have felt a little lost; a little helpless. I have often wondered how I am moving towards that goal in any way. But each day I say a small prayer asking that God guide me in every tiny decision I make so that they are the right, best decisions to lead me to where He wants and needs me to be.
Part of my dream of living in the Valley includes the hope of working from my own front porch. Here I am, a year and a half out of college, and all the work I have done during this time is setting me on a path to run my own business from anywhere I wish.
At the same time I am beginning to better understand the craziness of the career world and how easily it sucks us in with expectations and responsibilities. I never want to get so caught up that I lose sight of the thing I’ve always wanted in my life; the place I want to end up. Naming my own company after that very place is to be a constant reminder of why I am doing all the work I am doing from day to day; a reminder of the stepping stones God places for us that will lead us to where He intends for us to inevitably end up.
With a lot of questions about my life constantly circling my mind, I remind myself of the many things I have that so many do not. I know what I want and I know it from deep within; therefore I know that desire comes from somewhere beyond myself. Also I know that because I look and ask for it on a daily basis, God is helping me fulfill that desire. As long as I have that, I know I will get there and that every day is a step of progress.
I'm pretty sure a lot of (if not most) people who happen upon this page have read this before, but I'm posting it anyway. There's still the chance that someone I know who has not read it will find it and I am happy to give them the chance to. Even if you have read it, poetry and philosophy can always be revisited for a new or deeper meaning. I've highlighted the lines that were of particular interest to me.
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
-Max Ehrmann
